Warm Pumpkin Spice Shake


I’ve been searching for a recipe this good since the dawn of time. I swear. Okay, maybe just for the last couple months but still it feels like eternity. So good and simple enough for even my Man Friend to make!


I did a couple things differently to make this even more simple. I heated the water to a little hotter than drinkable and threw that, the meal replacement shake, and almond milk all in my handy dandy Protein Shaker (get yours here!). Poured it in my favorite mug and sprinkled with cinnamon. You could even use some nonfat whip if you like. For Man Friend I added a little vanilla coffee creamer too and he was a big fan.

If you haven’t tried the Pumpkin Spice Shakes yet, you really are missing out. Lose some lbs and make some mula at the same time for the upcoming holidays!

Get them here!

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“Mom! The meatloaf! We want it now!”

If you don’t know what quote that movie is from I don’t know if we can be friends until you watch it. Wedding Crashers. Super immature, super hilarious.


I had never been a fan of meatloaf growing up. I am however a huge fan of comfort food. I had looked and looked for recipes online but never found one that really tickled my pickle. So, per usual, I decided to wing it.

Keeping in mind my quest to eat healthy, this is what I came up with. Let me tell you, it’s delish




1.25 Lbs Turkey Burger
1 cup finely shredded carrots
1/2 red onion chopped
1/2 red pepper finely chopped
1/2 orange pepper finely chopped
1 head of garlic minced
1 egg
A few dashes of Worcestershire sauce
Seasoning salt
Fresh ground pepper
1 PKG Italian Dressing Mix, or italian seasoning, thyme, sage.


Preheat oven to 350 degrees
Mix all ingredients in a bowl… super complicated, right?
Take a sip… or gulp of your favorite mommy juice
Spray muffin tin with non stick spray.
Form meatloaf mixture into a good size looking meatball
This is where I veer from the healthy side… I then top each mini meatloaf with a coat of BBQ sauce. It just makes it look prettier and gives it that nice boost of flavor.
Bake for about 45 minutes and boom y’all, you got yourself some turkey balls!

I served this with mashed cauliflower, which believe it or not my kids didn’t even notice it wasn’t potatoes! They were totally shocked when I told them my secret. This is one of Man Friend’s favorite meals that I make, clean eating or not. I always double the recipe and freeze for later or use for lunches throughout the week. You can’t go wrong here peeps.

If you aren’t worried about calorie consumption, I would throw in some BBQ sauce in the mix along with some shredded parmesan cheese. You can always swap out the Italian dressing mix with onion soup mix, it’s pretty damn good too!

Stay tuned for the mashed cauliflower recipe!

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Back to the basics: Tips to a Healthy Lifestyle

Here we go peeps. You’ve decided you’re tired of being tired. You want to eat healthier without feeling like you have to give up EVERYTHING. Or maybe you want to start the infamous 24 day challenge. Kinda intense right?

I promise, it’s not. It’s actually way easier than I thought it would be. I hyped myself up BIG time and looking back it’s hard not to laugh.

So, while I’m sure I will think of more things along the way.. here’s a quick simple break down of what will make these 24 days breeze by..or if you’re smart how to make a permanent change totally doable. YOU GOT THIS!

  1. Shaker Bottle. 61jC+v6qnUL._SL1500_

I cannot express enough how this will make a WORLD of difference with Adovcare. I remember the first day of my first challenge pouring the fiber drink and just using a fork to stir. I knew that I had been duped and this would be the death of me. The vomit. Oh man. SO SO SO bad. Then move on to the Spark that everyone raves about.. mix it with a fork. What the hell was this shit?!?!? It was like I had clumps of playdough stuck to my teeth. THEN the meal replacement shake.. again, with the fork… SWEET BABY JESUS. It was like Satan himself created this shit. Day Two: Get the shaker, shake everything instead of forking it (that’s what she said). Smooth sailing guys. I’ll tell you what, click the link above and order a challenge, I’ll buy you a shaker myself 🙂


2. Condiments!IMG_1790 (1)

Finding good substitutes are essential to making it through.You truly don’t realize all the added sugars, calories, chemicals etc you are consuming until you do something like this. The above condiments I have found to be lifesavers.

Garlic Expressions can be used as a salad dressing, but I used it more as a marinade. It has a kick ass fresh garlic flavor.

Girards Light Champagne dressing is honest to god, life changing. I’m a ranch girl. I lovvvve a good creamy homemade ranch. Generally, I avoid it, but haven’t ever been able to get super into a salad because well to be honest, it wasn’t doused in creamy calorie filled goodness. So naturally, find a dressing referencing booze and I’m in love. I could drink this shit. I could bathe in it.

Vegenaise is just the shit. I love me some mayo y’all. I’d use it on a slip in slide if it didn’t make my ass jiggle like a Nicki Minaj video. I truly, 100%, cannot taste the difference.

Braggs. Oh Braggs. I just can’t say enough good things about it. Same taste as soy, but not so salty that if tastes like your making out with a mermaid. Gives great flavor to just about anything. The other night I satueed some mushrooms in coconut oil and threw in some Bragg Liquid Aminos. Simple. Easy. Delish.

3. ConvenienceIMG_1789 (1)

Now, you can tell me all damn day to meal plan or you will fail at eating clean. It’s true. You’re more prone to rape a snickers if you don’t have anything handy in the heat of the moment. So what can we do to just forget about meal planning for a minute, cool our jets, and get the Nazi outta the kitchen? We have to find things that allow us to be spontaneous too otherwise we wouldn’t ever be able to leave the house. I found this gem of a salad while taking the beasts to Subway. DUDES. Even before changing my bad eating habits I loved me a good chopped salad. This was fab. First, it’s HUGE, you can add as much as you want (minus cheese and crappy meats). I threw in literally almost all the veggies they had (minus tomatoes, that shit is nasty), grilled chicken breast and then waited til I got home and added some of my champagne dressing. You could totally use vinegar and oil, or splurge and get one of their light dressing. If nothing else, while some things may add calories, they can be HEALTHIER calories. For instance, that big ass salad with a little bit of ranch is way better for you than opting for a sandwich instead.

4. Mung Bean Pasta916ANjLl+cL._SY679_

I tried to get on the spaghetti squash bandwagon. I’m not going to lie. It tastes like straight ass. I get get behind it. It does not taste like pasta! Now I won’t lie, I’ve only used the mung bean pasta a couple times and while the texture and taste are different, it’s SO much better than other subsitutes I’ve tried. Thing whole grain pasta. It’s obviously not the bleached enriched pasta that sticks to the deepest parts of our soul, it’s better for you and still tastes pretty damn decent. I’ll keep you posted on future endeavors with it.

5. Menus IMG_2052

Yup. Menus. Now, I won’t even act like I stick to this all the time. Also, that really is the type of shit I write all the time. I will never feel comfortable not adding booze to a menu, even if I have to adult and cross it off. I’m also the type of person that likes to go to the store once or twice (if needed) a week. If I shop for any more than that crap will go bad because I will veer from the menu and then my kitchen will smell like ass. So I plan a week at a time for meals throughout the week and usually hit up the store sometime on the weekend. I make a simple menu because I do work full time and time is never on my side. I know that a few days out of my week will be shit and I’m not going to feel like making some Julia Child masterpiece. If by the end of the day I get a wild hair up my ass and feel fancy, I’ll hit up the store and do it. Also any excuse to use this totally adorbs menu planner is a good one in my book! Click any of the highlighted menu buttons in this post to get your own!


To summarize, life’s about balance. Sometimes I do really well utilizing all these and in the heat of the moment I realize how much easier these things make my life. Other times I say fuck everything and I will have whiskey for dinner and quit my job and start stripping. There’s no sense in pressuring yourself into failing. Try it. stick to it for a bit, and if it doesn’t work try something else. Life’s not that serious peeps.

Click any of the hyperlinks above to get direct access to Amazon Prime and it’ll be on your doorstep in two days!

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I’m in love with the mailman.

He’s amazing. Or she amazing. I have no idea, nor do I care. Because since Monday sucked…. then Tuesday sucked. Then my dealer delivered.

I may have a problem.

I don’t care about that either.

Because I built an Advocare tower today.

I’m a toddler with bills, essentially.


*Insert Amazing Grace ballad here*

If you saw the last weeks of posts. You’d know that I enjoy me some whiskey on more than the rare occasion. You may think that makes me a hypocrite since I get equally excited about Pumpkin Spice Meal Replacement shakes. Life is about balance. If you are looking for someone whose is so strict they will wipe their ass with an organic locally grown kale leaf… clearly you’re in the wrong place. Not that I think there’s anything wrong with someone who chose to wipe their ass with a organic locally grown kale leaf. It would be refreshing I would think.. very Survivorish.

For real though, I’m not a breakfast person, and the age old advice of course is “EAT BREAKFAST”. I can’t make my mouth move that much before 10 AM. The idea of getting a spoon to my mouth without wearing it in my hair for the rest of the day is just comical. See above statement about toddler with bills. There’s a number of reason why they say this. It fires up your metabolism, fuller longer, eat less throughout the day, the list of benefits is a mile long. But like most, I didn’t give two shits about it because it didn’t involve the words mimosas or espresso. Now THAT is a breakfast to get behind.

However, the whole reason I’m doing this is because I’m tired of feeling like shit. For the last 15 years, I haven’t eaten breakfast so let’s put our heads together and use some logic here: THAT’S NOT FUCKING WORKING. So baby steps, like a pumpkin shake that tastes like a Starbucks Frapp. First world problems.

I do that the second I start feeling hungry, which is generally around 10 or 11. Have the shake, boom I’m full for another 3-4 hours. That puts lunch time at 2-3. Then lunch time, dinner early around 5ish and then nothing else to eat for the rest of the day. I pound water like I’m defending the league title in beer pong, and I don’t lose at beer pong.

I’ve lost 13 pounds in 22 days. Think about that. T-H-I-R-T-E-E-N pounds.

By ADDING calories to my diet.

If you’re a skeptic of Advocare, I get it, I was too. But skeptic or not, I got thirteen less LB’s jiggling in my drawers.

Now to work on getting to lose it somewhere else besides my up top itty bitties.

(Click the pic above to get your hands on your own punkin’s peeps!)

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Half Ass Meal Prep

I tried meal prepping for like a week… annnnd 5 out of 7 meals end up not getting any further than a tupperware container pushed to the back of my fridge.

I saw this on modernmommymadness.com’s blog. She is hilarious. Go check her out.


So I invented Meg’s way of meal prepping, also known as the half ass way. Now let me be clear, I don’t half ass anything. I’m in no way lazy, but to put it simpy, I’m practical. I know that if I eat the same exact meal for 2-3 days in a row… it’s not going to sound appealing the other 4-5 days. Instead I make enough of each food group I’m focusing on to interchange them.

This last Saturday I decided to do some hardcore Julia Child shit in my kitchen. I threw some frozen chicken breasts in my crock pot. I still don’t understand why I don’t have my own food network show.

I literally took 4 chicken breasts, splashed in like 4-5 “globs” of chicken broth and then one decent size pour of salsa. Okay, okay, I also threw in some seasoning. But I don’t remember exactly which ones I used. It was whichever ones didn’t require me to get the damn step stool to find.

Then I got real crazy and cooked some turkey burger.

THEN I went totally ape shit and made a whole bunch of tuna salad (with vegenaise)

So what I do, is not meal prepping. It’s packing my damn lunch. But nonetheless, this gives me a few quick options on nights I would rather have whiskey for dinner, and my children aren’t over the age of 12 yet so they have to consume actual sustenance.

All that aside, here’s a glimpse of what I pack and take to work.

IMG_1776 (1)

Some days, it all gets eaten. Some days none of it does. Some days I pack it and forget every single damn thing at home. Some days I think this is horse shit and I want a damn chalupa.

But the point is, having quick access to food. That’s the MOST important thing. Having it readily available so it’s even more convenient than going out and eating your feelings because you still haven’t gotten over the fact that Derek was killed and Meredith just pulled the plug without letting anyone even say their goodbyes. Amy could of saved him god damnit!

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Good health has not been on my side for awhile now, but it’s been increasingly worse the last 6 months or so. I eat semi-clean. I don’t smoke. I don’t sit on my hiney all day. But when it really comes down to it those are the only two things I really do to benefit my health. SO I decided “fuck that”.

I wanted a change and I’m the type of person that’s all or nothing, in every single aspect of my life. I had dissed Advocare openly FOREVER.. but then the idea of a sudden, all in jumpstart to good health wasn’t sounding so bad.. I have always said, “just get off your ass and put down the damn chicken nuggets”. Boom, my intellectual words of wisdom. “Advocare is FULL of chemicals!”.. yes.. there’s some chemicals in there… but I promise there’s a shit ton more in that brownie batter blizzard you’re about to motorboat.


Now THIS, is something you can motorboat. I want it in and around my mouth.

I started a few months ago, did a challenge, lost 13 lbs and 12 inches! Then life happened and I decided again that I was okay with feeling like shit and went back to intravenously taking in coffee, eating like a bird throughout the day, and motorboating blizzards at night. (“You motorboating son of a bitch, you!” Jeremy-Wedding Crashers)

So here I am. Back at it. Halfway through another challenge and two bags of potatoes lighter. Given, I’m still learning all the ropes of it, but I can truly say, I am enjoying every second of it. I feel better than I have in over a year. I don’t feel like a extra on The Walking Dead. I can think clearly. There’s no more exorcism’s at 5AM. I don’t feel like an all around asshole 20 hours out of the day. Stay tuned for before and afters!



Also, please email me with any questions whiskeysippy@gmail.com!


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