I gave up coffee.
I GAVE UP COFFEE.
That stuff was the sweet nectar of my life. From the moment I woke up when my love brought me my first cup of the day as a barter to get my ass out of bed, which at 5 AM is a lot like a scene from The Exorcist, until the moment I would wind down at the end of the night with a cup on my night stand. Coffee and oxygen were one in the same. Hot, Iced, intravenously, weak, strong, black, creamy, crappy, decent, I didn’t discriminate. Just give me the damn juice.
But, in all my years of drinking coffee, it never really did anything for me. There was no sudden, or gradual even, burst of energy. It didn’t get me through an afternoon slump or make a Monday any less of a Monday. To put it simply, I just liked the taste. Kind of like bacon. Doesn’t do a damn thing for you, but I’d sure as shit punch a kitten for some.
SO… when I jumped head first into the Advocare world, I about stroked out when I realized they don’t advise drinking coffee on the challenge. It was like I was reading a foreign language. No coffee? I don’t understand. What does that mean? Nooooo, coffffeeeeeee? Even sounding it out didn’t help.
But whatever.. I paid for the shit so you better believe I’m gonna do what it says.. or at least try it. I’ve heard about this Spark drink they all hoot and holler about but believe me there is no replacement for the lifelong friendship I’ve had with espresso. None. It’s the bloods and the crips as far as I’m concerned.
Then I tried it.
I’ll be a son of a bitch.
It’s amazing.. of course… because anything I throw a fit about is almost always sure to turn around and make me look like an idiot.
It’s kind of like when you go to take a picture of something with your phone and it’s out of focus. You touch the object you’re trying to snap a photo of and it focuses in and is crystal clear. That’s Spark.
What’s better than Spark mixed with water per the instructions?
Heaven help me.
Directions (super complicated here folks):
- Mix one scoop spark with 4 oz water in protein shaker.
- Pour 4 oz over ice in large glass as shown above
- Then pour in any flavor La Croix sparkling water.
- Squeeze around a quarter of a lime
- Give a good stir
- Die happy.