Who needs Starbucks?

Okay, I do. BUT I live in such a small town that there is no Starbucks here. I know. Weird. But such places do exist. People also wear cut off Carhartts here, so there’s that.

This past weekend I went to the big city and swung by Starbucks. Since I had already had three liters of caffeine intravenously I decided to be health conscious and skip having more espresso. So naturally I opted for something made of straight sugar instead, Starbucks caramel apple spiced cider. That stuff is like an angels breast milk. I literally just wanted to submerge my face in it.

So fun weekend in the big city is over and I’m back in the boonies. There’s only one little coffee stand in my town and while they don’t make bad coffee, they don’t make the apple cider I was having withdrawals from. I’ve tried to replicate it in the past with recipes I’ve found online but none tasted close enough to the same. So per usual, I just started throwing shit together and cussing up a storm any time it wasn’t perfect. But finally, a few f-bombs later, heavens gates opened and bam! Nailed it. So then I had to clean my entire kitchen and start again so I could take pretty pictures for y’all to make it look like I have a flippin clue as to what I’m doing. No joke though guys, if you put this in a little red holiday Starbucks cup I would 100% believe it was made by the gods in the little green aprons.

Here y’all go!

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Notice what a contradiction I am. Organic sugars and cinnamon next to a can of Reddi Whip.

Ingredients:

Apple Juice or Cider (I just grab whatever is on sale)
Caramel Sauce
Cinnamon Simple Syrup (AKA Starbucks Cinnamon Dolce Syrup)
Whip Cream… this isn’t optional despite what you believe.

Directions:

Remember.. I suck at measuring…Pour around half a bottle of cider or juice in pot over medium heat. Add around half a cup of cinnamon simple syrup. Then add roughly (ha) three or four squeezes caramel sauce. Whip it good. Whip it real good. Now try not to sing Whip It by Devo. Heat until steaming.

Pour in your desired cup and top with whip cream and drizzle with caramel sauce.

You could easily turn this into a crock pot recipe. Doubling the recipe and setting on low until desired temp. I would add a couple cinnamon sticks to enhance the flavor and stir occasionally. This would be PERFECT for Thanksgiving or Christmas morning!

Try not to submerge your face and enjoy!

This makes around 4 regular sized coffee cups.. again… I’ll try to start measuring. Try.

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Simple Syrup Recipe

Half cup white sugar
Half cup brown sugar
Three to four teaspoons cinnamon
One cup water

Mix all in a sauce pan, the cinnamon will float on top for awhile but by the time it’s done it should pretty much dissolve. Bring to a boil. Let simmer for 5 minutes. Let cool and store in air tight container. It should be good for at least a few weeks. Bonus is your kitchen will smell amazing!

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And if you’re like me and always want to have an adult version on hand… you know… just in case your toddler dropped an entire roll of toilet paper in the toilet and then proceeded to take it out, leaving a trail all the way to the bathroom counter…. you know.. to “help momma clllllean it”. It doesn’t hurt to have this to add as a backup…

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Enjoy Loves! XOXO

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Whiskey and Wreaths

So, I’ve started making wreaths.

Random, I know.

I see them on Pinterest on these perfect little doorsteps which undoubtedly leads into a perfect little entry way with a perfect little family playing a cordial game of Monopoly where no toddlers are biting anyone’s ankles and no one’s mother is drunk in the kitchen mixing jack and RC cola in her coffee cup. Let’s take a minute to acknowledge that the biggest joke out of that statement is a “cordial game of Monopoly”. Does that ever really happen? Monopoly in my house growing up went a little something like this…

At any given moment things like this would be whispered awkwardly in your ear… by my grandmother…

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The second someone ran out of money…

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Anywhoo, wreaths.

I debated on just ordering one off of Etsy, because there are TONS of adorbs ones. But none really tickled my pickle. So I decided to wing it and head to the craft store, never thought that sentence would come out of my mouth. It’s not even close to the liquor store…

I got the essentials, a wreath frame, but naturally since I knew nothing about wreaths I got one of each available. A foam, a grapevine, and a wire wreath. Then got some burlap, flowers, a hot glue gun (because again, I’ve never even attempted to be this domestic) and a few other random things.

After looking on Pinterest the foam wreath and stabbing my fingers 72 times trying to pin fabric to it I decided this is probably what they made Martha use in prison as punishment.

This thing is the devils craft, do you understand? Just walk away.

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This is your friend. Trust me.

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So after about 3 glasses of Honey Jack daniels this was my end result

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Now, I thought it was okay, but not totally thrilled with it. But after sharing with some friends, I now have about 12 wreaths to make for other peeps! So that means another 17 trips to the craft store because I really had no idea what or how much of anything I needed. Then one more trip to the liquor store, because I know exactly what and how much of that I need. I wish they had punch cards…

I’ve gotten MUCH better and figured out some little hacks to making the wreaths look fuller, and take a little less time. Here’s one from yesterday I made for someone..

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AND I’ve started this one, but ran out of burlap.. .because again, I have no idea what I’m doing…

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It’s a punkin’!!!

I’ll be opening an Etsy store soon, so all you lovelies will be able to purchase custom wreaths soon! I can also throw up a tutorial to help y’all make some of these bad boys yo’ self if ya’ll want.

I think I’ll spend more Saturday’s with whiskey and wreaths.

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